Game of Thrones, Mockingbird recap

In this week’s GoT, Jon Snow gets scolded for bringing his dog to show and tell, because pet dander allergies are a real threat to the men of the Night’s Watch. Then he stands up to solve a problem and gets it wrong, and no one even says “good try!” Worst day ever.

Tyrion gets an unexpected visit from Oberyn and they have a H to H. Oberyn recalls a disturbing story about probably-not-the-first-time Westeros Family Services should have intervened with the Lannisters clan. Poor Tyrion. But good news: he has a champion! All Oberyn has to do is take down the Mountain, no big deal. It’s not like they recast the role twice to make sure the actor conveys “imminent death”  strongly enough. Oh that’s exactly what happened? Third time’s a charm.

The Mountain
The Mountain

Meanwhile Arya is growing more ruthless every episode, but also making witty quips and sewing up the Hound’s neck crease wounds, so we’re pretty ok with her stabbin dudes in the heart.

Across the narrow sea, GoT indulges our khaleesi role play fantasies. After a sexy night with Daario, she’s open to Jorah’s advice and opts for a softer diplomatic approach than crucifixions.

Sansa shows off her snow sculpture abilities, which are pretty much what we’d expect of the Winterfell heiress.Then she has her (first?) kiss with a guy who just told her he no joke COULD have fathered her–taking it one step beyond the platitude “i’m old enough to be your dad.”  We spot Aunt Lysa creeping in the background and it goes from bad to  worse pretty much instantly as Lysa holds Sansa over the edge of the Moon Door in her trademark freakout mode we’ve come to know and love.

Some people have asked why the Moon Door isn’t gated. Isnt it real risky to have a death-drop right smack in the middle of Eyrie’s most popular hangout spot?

Moon Door party!
Moon Door party!

But drama trumps rationality in GoT world.  It’s why Cersei lets her fancy skirts drag through fresh intestinal carnage courtesy of the Mountain. Any normal person would walk around that. I live in a filthy city and do my damnedest to avoid stepping in anything gross.

me walking the city streets
me walking the city streets

Littlefinger does such a stand-up job talking Lysa down, we can almost imagine a Petyr Baelish who chose to use his talents for good in the world as a hostage negotiator. But once Sansa is out of harm’s way, then he’s all like psych i didn’t ever love you, still obsessed with your sister k bai. And down the Moon Door Lysa goes. I’ll miss that crazy bitch.

 

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